Just this last week I ended a 4-year closeted physical relationship between myself and "straight" friend from high school. Tt has been by the far the most miserable experience of life, and what's worse is that this is the second time it's happened. What a joy it is to be labeled psycho by high school peers I hated to begin with. I'm so emotionally attached to Colin and I want nothing more than to cut complete ties with him, but then I'm the asshole because he just wants to be friendly and act like nothing. FUCK YOU asshole how do you think I can just casually waltz in and out of this without any battle wounds? I'm so so hurt by it and what's worse is that miraculously I'm still the bad guy, when it was he he propositioned me in the first place. I bet your high school sweety of three years would love to know that you dream about mutual dick sucking between the two of us.
I'm done feeling sorry for anyone, especially myself. I've been an openly gay man for six years and do not need to jump back into the closet for anyone, especially a small-dicked skate boarder like him who can't appreciate the great qualities I'll eventually bring to a loving relationship. Ultimately, I need to look at these as incredible lessons and demonstrations of will power and self worth. I now know to never fall for anything so loveless and bullshit, so thank you Colin & Lee, and enjoy rotting in the closet for the rest of your life!
On a lighter note, I'd like to thank the wonderful Natasha Khan and her creation Bat For Lashes. What beautiful music, both albums are beyond incredible for any season. I'd be lost without your words of wisdom, my love!
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